{image via flickr}I really can't belive that February is here. Where has the last month gone? Or the last year? I sometimes feel like life is flashing before my very eyes. I'm sure I'm not the only one that feels that way. I have always been a person with a full plate. I like to be busy and I always like to be working towards something. Sometimes this has gotten me into trouble. I have made mistakes where I fill my life with useless tasks or things that don't make me happy or achieve anything.
Ever since Caden has come and I'm trying to balance the many different responsiblities in my life, I have never felt balanced. More often than not, I get to the end of the day and have many more things left on my to do list than what I even accomplished throughout the day.
Now, please do not take this as a pity post. It is not that. This is what my mind goes through every Monday morning. It's somewhat of a guilty complex sprinkled in with a weeding out factor. These are my thoughts on the way to work.... What am I doing? Why am I going to work? What can change in my life that will lessen the burden on my family? What am I willing to sacrifice?
I will say that I'm probably not the best working mother. I struggle with the fact of leaving my little one for 50 hours a week {note: during his happiest times}. I struggle with keeping my house in order and eating good meals. I can't even tell you how tempted I have been at times to hit "Delete this blog" as sometimes I wonder if it's just one of those useless tasks that I'm spending time on. But then I sit back and think that this brings me joy. I love talking about my family and I sure enjoy all the friends I've made along the way. I hope I'm not doing it for not. I want my little Caden {& hopefully more to come} to enjoy my little journal-of sorts-when they are older. They will know me and all the struggles I went through as a developing mother. So here I am documenting it. Life is good and it's a challenge. It may not be balanced at times, but I am doing the best I can.
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4 comments:
If it makes you feel any better, we all feel that way. Blogging is great! I just thought to show our family blog to Alexander on Friday. He really enjoyed looking at the pictures of things we have done and remembering them all. Have a great February!
I love reading your blog :] and I feel like life is kinda flashing before my eyes too, it still feels like I should be in Middle School!!
Yea, it's crazy how quickly time passes these days. I think we're all just doing the best we can! Loving your new blog look, btw!:)
Deb, I love reading your blog, you are so real. So many of us have been in your position- it get's better and easier. You won't know how or when, but it will. Your hard work will pay off more than you realize.
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